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Welcome to my wonderland. This is my blog - a place to rant, rave, and roll about anything and everything. Please, no spamming. No cursing. No flaming. I'm entitled to my own opinion, and if you don't like it, press the red [x] to exit.



..while I may be a happy-go-lucky person at times, I am a big dreamer. I love Japanese things, especially the Gothic and Punk stuff..and Ayumi Hamasaki. I also love Anna Sui-ish graphic art. I enjoy singing, composing, drawing, doodling, surfing the net, watching TV, reading, designing clothes, and sleeping. I try my best not to judge people, but I do have the tendency to be snobbish or stupid at times, but I'm not perfect - nor is anyone else. I believe that all people are born with talent, and that everyone is unique. And if you have a problem with that, then get out.
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mimegirl drawing and coding by me, made with Adobe Photoshop CS2. Pixel graphics from Sugar Pink. Music from RadioBlog. Toys and emoticons from Kao-ani.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

was I made to be a composer?
..probably not. because I suck at the simplest things, namely: sightreading and transcribing the brilliant thoughts in my head into notes.

ugh. I really suck. partly because I'm used to being taught the tune in Cherubs - we don't do Solfege, and now I'm seeing the side effects. I read notes like a mule.

I really wanna learn how to play piano - I mean, I already do, but I wanna learn how to sightread. Like Nodame. Or Seri. Even Macky can do it, how come I can't? Because I've only had five piano lessons in my whole life? Poor excuse.

I don't know if I'm gonna succeed with my goals. I just tell myself to work hard, but it's not working.

And to make things worse, my dad doesn't understand. He's a guy, what would you expect? For feeling bad about those stuff, he gets mad; and if I don't tell him what I'm feeling bad about, he gets mad. Gaaaaah.

I don't even wanna do anything but cry. It's not gonna do anything. But nothing I do ever does, right? What's the point?

I sound like such a loser. Such a give-upper. I'm sorry, but I'm weak and fragile; I have dreams, but I just wasn't born strong. Kthxbye.

I really wish I was Seri[my Japanese cousin]. She lost all her weight, and she plays great piano. And I love her fashion style. She must've worked really hard.

I wish I was strong, not a giver-upper. I wish I had the willpower and motivation in me. Well, I don't.

Yuki