LISTEN . . please? {♥} chainedwonderland v3.0

Welcome to my wonderland. This is my blog - a place to rant, rave, and roll about anything and everything. Please, no spamming. No cursing. No flaming. I'm entitled to my own opinion, and if you don't like it, press the red [x] to exit.

..while I may be a happy-go-lucky person at times, I am a big dreamer. I love Japanese things, especially the Gothic and Punk stuff..and Ayumi Hamasaki. I also love Anna Sui-ish graphic art. I enjoy singing, composing, drawing, doodling, surfing the net, watching TV, reading, designing clothes, and sleeping. I try my best not to judge people, but I do have the tendency to be snobbish or stupid at times, but I'm not perfect - nor is anyone else. I believe that all people are born with talent, and that everyone is unique. And if you have a problem with that, then get out.
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mimegirl drawing and coding by me, made with Adobe Photoshop CS2. Pixel graphics from Sugar Pink. Music from RadioBlog. Toys and emoticons from Kao-ani.

Sunday, November 2, 2008 greedy green-eyed monster

..am I becoming one?!

I think I am. Oh noooooo.

Temptation. I hate it.

Sometimes, it's the small stuff: a five-color pen, metallic pink hair clips; sometimes, it's the superficial stuff: a Gucci bag, a new cell phone; and sometimes, it's the useful things you won't be able to find anywhere in the Philippines(I think): Kathy Smith's Matrix Method and Denise Austin's Core Complete videos.

And there are those cases where: you don't have money. you're broke. you had money, but you spent it on something useless. your parents won't let you. your family's in a crisis. the country's in a crisis. the world's ending(kidding) . . and the list goes on and on.

Most of us just learn to shut up and accept the fact that we're just not lucky enough to be rich or spoiled as Paris Hilton. Most of the time, that's how I react. Someday you'll get rich. Dream on. Something like that. But the difference is when you, say, see something - a certain, specific something you've been eyeing for years(okay, days will do). Then you reach out for your wallet and discover - gasp - no more money! Next option: ask your parents. They say no. So you sulk and hope that they'll change their mind. It's been days, they haven't.

And then comes the last resort: steal it. It doesn't matter if you steal some money to buy it or the item itself. Point is, what do you have to lose? You don't do this everyday . . and it's not like you're robbing a bank or something, right? Oh, but think of the consequences. The grief. The guilt.

Today, I was thisclose to actually stealing money from my dad. Don't blame him; he was only doing his job as a good parent by stopping me from buying another you-know-what(do you?). I, of course, was persistent. He got mad. I said sorry. But my hunger for the item didn't go away.

I was actually thinking of asking him for ten ringgit - supposedly to surf the net. But I wouldn't. I'd keep it. I'd do this for four days. And then while he isn't looking when we go to the you-know-what store, I'll buy the item. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

The difference with today: I've actually always thought of doing that, but I never actually felt brave enough to do it. It would always stay a thought in my head. I was too compassionate(if you give me a better word, I'll replace this one). Today, I was determined to do it. To lie. It wouldn't exactly be stealing, right? It's just going to the internet shop, changing my mind, and..keeping the money. Right?! Wrong.

Good thing my inner Jimminy Cricket(did I spell it right?) woke up and defeated my inner demon. It's bad. It's risky. My dad has bought me a lot of stuff already - an iPod. A digicam. A gorgeous dress. And I would ask him for a Nitendo DS for my birthday. No, it was too much. Stealing - yes, it's stealing - just isn't right, whether or not the person finds out or not. Lady stole 600 precious pesos from me, and I felt sad and stupid. She still doesn't know that I know, but I'll let her learn for herself. I think. Well, you get the point.

Today, I was close to being an amateur criminal. I'm not exaggerating - everyone starts somewhere, right?! But sometimes, you just have to force yourself to do the right thing. It sucks, but it's the right thing. God would probably reward me one day. And look on the bright side: no guilt. For now. Who knows, the thought might enter my mind again.

..kidding.

Yuki